Glee Animals
by allchildrenbutonegrowup
Summary: Look, I wrote this when I had a fevor. This was supposed to have all the Gleeks, each having an animal but alas, I just have this. I probably wrote the other eleven down on paper. But anyway, BigBro!Puck takes care of his little sister's pet hamster.


**I had 102.3 fever when I wrote this.**

**:)**

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><p>You just don't understand." Sarah said, flipping around in her bed as to not face Puck who was holding her glasses. "Some people look great in glasses, some people's faces were made for glasses, I am not one of those people."<p>

Puck rolled his eyes. This was like the millionth time she's said that he just didn't understand. Does she not realize that he was twelve years old once? Sure he was way different then Sarah at twelve but...

"Sarah, you can't see a centimeter in front of you and Ma is not buying you contacts yet or paying for laser eye surgery. You seriously need to buck up." Puck said and Sarah turned to glare at him.

"I just don't want to look like a dork."

"You look nothing like a whale penis, now just put them on." Puck said and Sarah turned to him in horror.

"Noah!" she whined and covered her head with a pillow.

Puck blew out air. Jesus Christ...

"Okay, let's make a deal. You wear these awesome glasses and I'll..." Puck looked around and his eyes settled on Sarah's pet hamster that Grandma Connie got for her last Christmas. "I'll tote your furry rat around all day at school."

Sarah looked amused and scandalized. "First of all, Chauncy is a hamster. And you gave Grandma that old Pomeranian from the pound for her birthday after you promised Ma you'd take care of three days before."

Puck shrugged. "So?"

"How do I know you'll really tote Chauncy around all day?" Chauncy and Sarah were close. It was almost scary.

"Alright, you know Glee club?" Puck said, smiling. "I'll have them vouch for me."

Sarah knew Rachel, who was going to chop off her tongue before lying for him so she relented.

She grabbed her glasses and put them on slowly, gulping. Puck let Chauncy out of his home cage and Sarah gave him his travel ball.

"If he doesn't come back alive..." Sarah warns and Puck rolls his eyes.

"Baby sister, I got this in the bag."

"I am going to jump off a bridge if someone doesn't get this thing away from me." Puck said, walking into Glee with Chauncy in a ball.

Brittany jumped up and protected Chauncy while Lauren sighed.

"You're being dramatic Puckerman. It's just a hamster." she said as Brittany stared at the little hamster happily.

"Not that. Her!" Puck pointed to Rachel who was coming into Glee now with her gold camera.

"Sarah Puckerman texted me this morning to document your hamster adventures and if you are taking care of him, like you promised."

Finn furrowed his eyebrows. "I thought your phone didn't get texts." Quinn rolled her eyes.

Rachel nodded. "It was a shock to me too. Anyway, I'm suprised Noah, it's hour 3 and Chauncy isn't floating in the lunch ladies's suprise stew." She snapped a picture of Brittany who had taken the hamster out and smiled.

"Can I keep him?" Brittany asked pleadingly, giving Eskimo kisses to the fat little hamster.

"No!" Puck said, checking his phone as it vibrated.

_'He's still breathing?- SarahCPuckerman'_

_'Yeah, I just gave him hamster CPR tho- ElPuckerone'_

_'NOAH, not funny- SarahCPuckerman'_

He looked back to Brittany who suprisingly didn't have Chauncy. It was on top of Santana's head and she was idly threatening it.

"I am going to have hamster soup if one of you does not get this rat off my hair, now! Get it off. Chang!" she screamed and Mike delicately scooped the poor animal off her head. Rachel was snapping away.

"Put him back in his cage. Do you know how hard it is to sneak a hamster past two periods of class? I will not let you lose him Mike Chang!"

Brittany held the cage away from him. "He doesn't like it in there! He wants to be free!"

Puck rolled his eyes. "And how do you know that?"

"He told me. Duh." Brittany said, as if it was obvious. "I speak hamster. And he also told me you don't pay attention to his emotional needs."

"I do not need you to Dr. Phil my relationship with my baby sister's hamster." Puck said as Rachel snapped away, laughing.

"BRAD, don't move." Mike whispered. "There is a hamster on your piano."

Brad gave him a look and Finn trapped the scurrying hamster in his hands.

"Don't suffocate him!" Tina yelled, taking the hamster from Finn's hands.

"Well, don't stab him with your pointy fingernails!" Finn shot back and Tina gasped.

"You're right. Mercedes, hold him."

Mercedes shook her head while Tina placed him in Mercedes's lap.

"Kurt... Kurt... take him."

"Oh my god, he's getting hamster hair all over my new vest. This is not acceptable. Unacceptable."

"Put him back in the ball!" Quinn exclaimed as Sam handed her the travel ball.

Brittany kicked it out of Sam's hand before Quinn could place him in it.

"Brittany!" Quinn exclaimed, now feeling uneasy with the rodent in her hand. She passed it to Sam.

Picking up the ball from where it landed, Lauren rolled her eyes. "This is hamster, not a game of hot potato."

Brittany spiked the ball out of Lauren's hand and it landed... right in Mr. Schuester's face.

"Got it!" Rachel exclaimed as Puck cradled the dear hamster.

"Where did you guys get a hamster?"

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><p><strong>Wut?<strong>

**But seriously, writing fic gets better when I'm sick. Seriously.**


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